i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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