Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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