I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
