If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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