her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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