I want to walk on stilts...naked
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize