I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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