I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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