i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Please don't give away my fajitas
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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