Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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