I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
