Got a toothbrush?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
