Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
only you would photoshop your dick
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
