Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
