Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
