haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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