tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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