remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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