She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
