Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
