Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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