He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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