I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
