Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
