no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
