he thought i was a dude.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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