Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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