did you get engaged???
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
