I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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