I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
