i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
