That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
