why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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