i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
