ugly people sure do ruin things
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
