no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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