Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
