I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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