Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
