Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
