I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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