well most of my day revolves around power hour
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
