and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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