Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you had me at cake vodka
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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