Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
