I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
