We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
