In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
