its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
