Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize