She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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