i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
