Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
